Before I went to bed last night, I viewed a video from Daily Kos about the Rihanna, Chris Brown domestic abuse incident.
I have been quiet about this pretty much, until now.
Being a woman it is unconscionable to imagine any man hitting me or beating me for whatever the argument or beef is about. I guess my parents, especially my father, instilled that I was a jewel and that no man had a right to stop my thinking process, belittle me, nor hit me at will. My brothers, though growing up as a kid with them, were a pain in the "you know what" at times, would never allow a boy, man to put their hands on their sister. So, growing up with these images I just did not deal with it. I dated a man when I lived in California who was wonderful, when sober, but was one of those who could not handle his liquor and it did not take much. An incident happened as we were leaving some friends home after a get together, as I was putting the keys into the car he slapped my face and I don't even know why. After dropping him off at home, making sure he got in his apartment, I did not see him again. Sure, he kept calling, dropping by my work, even stopped by my place so I finally agreed to see him. I told him that his irresponsibility in relations to his drinking was hard enough, but when he slapped me for no reason, that was it. The sad thing is though he apologized he told me that he did not even remember doing this. Moving on from him was the right decision.
Rihanna and Chris Brown are young people. She is 20 and he is 19, both hot in the R&B and Hip-Hop musical scenario. They look great together, a younger version of Jay-Z and Beyonce. They are pop sweethearts. Only their back story is a pretty grave one.
At this point it does not matter who hit whom first, unless it was necessary to protect your life, in which this was not the case. Chris Brown allegedly balled his fist up and assaulted his girlfriend, Rihanna, supposedly over another woman he was seeing. This could have been handled differently, Chris Brown, the man, could have thrown the keys in the street and walked away from Rihanna while calling the police if it was necessary. But he became angry and assaulted her. His anger overtook his judgment, when he realized the gravity he ran away from the scene as others called the police. That is what happened.
I believe Brown did assault Rihanna because you do not release a statement of apology if nothing was done. It is all good, but the damage is done and possibly for his career. Some think this is an "in the moment" situation and that Chris Brown will be OK. I don't think so. Brown has to work with the many people that have worked with Rihanna in the music industry and right now many are not on the "Brown Bandwagon". Brown was promoted as a clean kid, a potential superstar, but now is relegated to a woman beater. It is what it is.
The LAPD's total irresponsibility of protecting the victim, Rihanna, by having the photo of her damaged face released via TMZ makes many squirm. The police are to protect the identity of the victim, not allow the media to run rampant. Whoever is responsible for this should be fired. The legal view is that it just may help Brown if this goes to trial (which I doubt), but damages him professionally in the eyes of those viewing that photo.
CNNs irresponsible coverage of the Rihanna/Brown situation.
CHETRY: Also the questions for her moving forward. I mean does she want, you know, the stigma moving forward as a one-time victim of abuse, if this indeed turns out to be proven?
GUEST: Yeah, that's right. And it, you know, it sort of marks her career that she'll just be remembered for this rather than her own talents.
Does she want to be remembered as a victim of a one-time abuse? WTF? Stigma? Was Rihanna to blame for having her boyfriend assault her, as he did? Did she ask for it? CNN needs to read the 2009 memo, not the one from 1979. There is no stigma to any woman being assaulted, beaten by her spouse or mate. If anything, the view is looked upon badly for the assaulter not the victim.
Finally, it is sad that many teens are blaming Rihanna for what happened to her and state that dating violence is normal. Is this what the thinking process for younger generations of women is reduced to? It is ok for your boyfriend to beat you? That you deserved it?
Ed Loos, a junior at Lake Forest High School, said a common reaction among students to Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: "Ha! She probably did something to provoke it."
In Chicago, Sullivan High School sophomore Adeola Matanmi has heard the same.
"People said, 'I would have punched her around too,' " Matanmi said. "And these were girls!"
As allegations of battery swirl around the famous couple, experts on domestic violence say the response from teenagers just a few years younger shows the desperate need to educate this age group about dating violence.
Their acceptance, or even approval, of abuse in romantic relationships is not a universal reaction. But it comes at a time when 1 in 10 teenagers has suffered such abuse and females ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of any age group, research shows.
Domestic violence is the number one under the radar assault against women. It is complicated and has various moving parts, but the one thing that is rampant in all cases is the lack of self confidence the woman has during this ordeal. No woman should believe or feel that is "alright" or that it was "my fault" justifying what your man has done to you. It is violence and it is wrong. As many feel compassion for Rihanna, she as a woman has a lot of work to do, starting with believing in her self-worth. And Chris Brown? He has a lot of genuine work to do to become a real man, of the non-violent type, but right now he only cares about saving his career.
h/t Daily Kos